With an unconventional title, this book literally set my mind racing as soon as I saw it. Having been such an avid reader for so many years, I’m familiar with the “don’t judge a book by its cover” rhetoric that is spouted so often 🤦🏾♀️ But what people often misunderstand is that very same statement can be used in a positive light as well. Go on you know you want to ask me what on earth I’m talking about 👀😂 Think about it deeply. Sometimes you can see a title of a book and immediately judge it (correctly I might add 😏) as a book that you know is going to blow you away. You just know its going to be good and you know you HAVE to read it!
That is what this book did to me 😍
I’ve been trying to expand my ‘books by Black authors’ library for a little while now – no its not just because i’m a Black business reviewer 👀 (when will you stop judging me😂) It’s mainly because I love reading so much, yet sadly realised that I had no real diversity in the books I chose to read. Growing up, it was mainly authors of other races that were pushed on me, so I carried that pre-planted desire well into my adult years. However, there are tons of Black authors out there and some of the books, like this one by Candice Braithwaite (at this point she’s my girl Candice in my head 🤷🏾♀️ because the book gives you such a great insight into her personality) is one of the most well written, funny (in the right places) and insightful books i’ve read.
The book effortlessly explores the way that motherhood is depicted in Britain, and the lack of diversity that surrounds what a ‘good’ mother actually looks like. The fact that Black mothers are often singled out, spoken down to and constantly have to deal with the imposing stereotypes that are pushed upon them. Stereotypes such as, we’re all single mothers 🙄 or the ever dangerous stereotype of us having to be ‘strong’ even when we clearly need help! Additionally, the book explores (in great detail) the alarming statistic of Black women being 5x more likely to die due to complications in pregnancy and labour 😡
Even if you aren’t into the heavy connotations that come with the exploration of those topics (you really should be since it affects us all – but this is a judgement free zone🤷🏾♀️) the very fact that Black mothers will find out they are having a Son and immediately have the thought of “he can’t grow up in London” should resonate with you. Or even the thought of “why there isn’t a Black version of Mrs Hinch” appearing all over your timeline. Seriously, are we to believe that Black women become mothers and suddenly don’t have the domesticity that it takes to be the super-mum that has a prestige home and teaches others how to have the same? Of course Black mothers like that exist! But those aren’t the mothers that are portrayed, when you are exploring motherhood on social media are they? No? That is exactly why Candice wrote this book and is exactly another area that she delves into.
Honestly, the book was a perfect balance of fact and life experiences, without being overwhelming or being a complete biography. Even though at times, when reading it, I wished Candice had made it a biography as well, so I could find out what her daughter thought about her new school – after having to leave her old one due to being racially abused. But that thought only made me realise even more, what a phenomenal read ‘I Am Not Your Baby Mother’ actually is.
It’s a book that leaves you wanting more, whilst allowing you to completely resonate with the authors experiences – either because you’ve been there yourself or because someone close to you has been there. And it is a book that I have to say is a must read for everyone 👌🏾 not just Black mothers or mothers to be. But also mothers from different backgrounds so they can join the conversation and really gain an understanding of what it is like to be a Black mother AND a Black woman in Britain 🖤
You can grab a copy of I Am Not Your Baby Mother from:
Disclaimer: As always, all reviews are my own opinions and I don’t partner with any product or company that I don’t use and love.